Preaching to the Converted

by Pablo Cabrera

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about

this album was recorded during my senior year in high school, continued throughout the summer and autumn following graduation. sometime in november, before finishing, i had a completely unexpected medical complication where i became unable to speak or make barely any bodily movements, and although i was kind of conscious and can remember some of it, it was a complete disastrous mess, like being in a living nightmare for a whole month, not to mention my family was worried sick about me (the diagnosis was catatonic schizophrenia, and prior to that i thought i was neurotypical, and had never done any drugs). i slowly recovered and when i came back from the hospital i finally had the chance to release these songs i recorded prior to the episode. it became a part of my mission to be integrated back into the real world, and become a part of the music making community that i so desperately wanted to be accepted in. i'd say i came pretty far compared to a handful of years ago. thank you to all my friends, and here's to the future and what holds for us.

recorded 2009-2010 with the exception of 110113 recorded on January 11, 2013, first released on Bandcamp on March 29. 2011, limited run of CDs shortly after.

"This collection of songs has been a long time coming for me. It includes my favorite recordings from the past two years and I'm proud of the end result. I hope you will enjoy the music as much as I enjoyed making it."

credits

released March 29, 2011

Music by Pablo Cabrera
Art Design by Pablo Cabrera
Photography by Sofie Cabrera
Art vectored by Chris Ricci
Mastered by Maria Bethania Cabrera

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Pablo Cabrera Annandale, Virginia

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Track Name: Beltway
If all of this were water
it would feel a whole lot farther
but since it's just asphalt
it's a little more familiar

He shouted from a distance,
"Where do you live?" I said,
"What's it to you?" He said,
"I don't think you belong here."
Since when is it prohibited to be walking?
Hell, since when is it illegal?

"I guess I don't live too far from the beltway,
I just wish you wouldn't describe it that way.
It's as if you've never lived here before,
to hear that highway drone"
"Don't you wish there was something more than what you came with?"
"I wish your car would pass me by."
"You think there's some magic solution to every problem,
but there's some things left undiscovered, they're for you
and just you."
Track Name: Dead Mass
so today I'm just a dead mass being huddled around
and even though I'm comfortable, I can't help to feel guilt.

I want to help you but I don't know where to start
if I knew just where I was going, I'd already be there
Track Name: As Long as You'll Be There
I'm in the middle of an end and a beginning
I'm laying down more than I stand up
I'm learning a few things that I wish I never knew

You called me twice and I picked up the second time
and even though I said "I'm sorry"
It didn't make a difference
I never heard from you again.

As long as you'll be there
I'll be fine
As long you'll hear me

As long as you'll be there
I'll shed one more tear
for every day and week
I can't make you happy
Track Name: These Places are My Friends
I can't live out my dreams in this house
This place I am indebted to,
imprisoned in.

If I only had a place
to call my own.

These places are my friends.
Track Name: Song of Virginia
Virginia is the only song I'll sing

Her name was Virginia
and she took my heart away
after months and months, years and years
of the same face.
And I'll never stop thinking about her
even as I sit in a room
where all these people pass me by,
I'll never change
Track Name: Only Thing That Remains
But I'll still walk onto a place unknown
If you take me away, I will grant you nothing for sure

When you fall, there's no pain
But it's cause you've died that you don't feel anything

But I can take the pain fine,
After all, it's the only thing that remains.
Track Name: Cold Block
The direction of the wind is all in our minds
The direction of the wind is all in our minds
When the wind blows on you, it's just like heaven
But when the wind blows on me, it pushes against me.
Track Name: As We Get Older
As we get older,
our memories seem like someone else's pictures
and as we get younger,
we realize it was just a dream.

Our memories seem like someone else's pictures
as we get older.
We realize it was just a dream,
as we get younger.
Track Name: I'm Not Human
If I had eyes in the back of my head,
I'd keep them shut
Cause I've seen enough and I've had enough

But if I could see
from your point of view
then maybe there's a place for me

A place to be proud of

For everytime I step out of that door
someone in the world gets badly hurt
And everywhere I look is made a mess
I'm not sure if it was me or them

Either way it's safe in this armored car
Where I'm free to see the world as I imagine it
But I gotta get out for a little fresh air
But when I do I'll suffocate to death

I'm not human
Track Name: Depression
I feel an anger waiting to be satisfied
because my words can't express no feelings
Anger just keeps my body still
until you're so far away
that I want you back again

Feelings of hope prevail
and I hope I can walk enough distance to get to you

Now I feel I can love again
but my words don't express
and my legs wont take a step

If I only talked as fast as you
or looked as pretty
carried all this jewelry on me
to give me some worth

If I had more hides covering my back
this world might've caused me a little less pain
but the pain don't mean anything to me
because underneath our cloaks
we're both just the same
and that's why I love
That's why I love you
Track Name: Are You With Me Or Not
I'm begging of you
to give me one straight answer
I know we've been together
for as long as I remember
Relationships were never very clear
Now you're too busy when I really need you
so I'm calling you now to ask,
are you with me or not?
so I'm calling you now to ask,
are you with me or not?
Track Name: Anxiety
It's true my thoughts are crying
but the tears they're like rocks crashing on water
Even though noone hears this sadness
I know it takes me closer, closer to you

Anxiety, just so I can be who I want to be
barely making out the truth with my trembling lips
just to live the dream
of being one with you,
one with you again.

Maybe your thoughs are crying for me too.