Grey Area Apr 2012 - Dec 2012

by Pablo Cabrera

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As a challenge, I decided to release a new song every Friday (at midnight) for the whole year. The requirements are that each song must include at least one instance of drums, bass, guitar, an electronic instrument, and vocals. Hopefully I will keep up with this challenge and with each song I shall likely learn a lesson or two.


released February 9, 2012




Pablo Cabrera Annandale, Virginia

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Track Name: 1024x768
you say first encounters are all that count
that in these moments it's do or die
but i proved myself wrong on the second go
i achieved closure
we both did
glorious closure
knowing we would never see another again
never felt this good

i'm ready to take on the world
and show everyone what i've got
because you wished me
you wished me a good day
and i owe you one
Track Name: Burning the Roof of Your Mouth
i see you crying
why is that?
am i preprogrammed
to expect the worse
try to mend wrongs
i just want to live
why don't we find enjoyment
we're so caught up in freedom
we lose sight of the real goal
Track Name: When You Go By, Not Too Hard (Far) ft. Bryan Huarita
When you go by,
Not too hard

When you go by,
Not too far
Track Name: blink-182
i'm starting to believe in the supernatural
and that i could get what i want in the blink of an eye
i'm just waiting for the time to come

you're my motivation
you're the motion inside me

life is automatic, it's such a breeze
when you've got it planned out and you see no flaws
i just wish we all could see this way

you're my companion
you are there for the best moments
Track Name: Untitled #1
when i dream of a best friend
all i think about is you
and your poise as you look into my eyes
you're looking through me and you don't mind
because a friend see's all the good in someone
you're that friend
and you'll remain that friend forever
because somewhere you remain

when motivation is scarce
just remember the responsibilites you took on
and see that what lies before you is easy
you're in the moment and you feel accomplished
that's the right feeling and with joy you can
show love in all directions in time and space

is it strange to say
i still love you
is it strange to say
i still love you
Track Name: Starburst Kiss
i heard a call from you when i saw your name
i knew i was in for a great big giant game
at first i was not sure if twas mine to win
but you showed me that love wins over fearing

these days we're living, they are truly halcyon days
when we know no matter what we'll stay together
in an elaborate dance composed of all our senses
it's like the sweetest taste of a Starburst kiss
Track Name: Insecure (alternate version)
when i see your face
i cry every time
because it's not the same
because it's not the same

like back in middle school
i'm ashamed to be myself
they'll laugh and call me names
i'm still insecure

but i have a feeling
that we are trying
so i don't mind waiting
for ourselves to stop fighting
Track Name: Arbitrary Opinions
it's been a long road
but we haven't gone far yet

all the while i have learned
that positivity
is the key to knowledge
without it i would never understand

when you watch news every day
you don't see anything
it's only within you'll find
the universe is smaller than you think

when you see
that's the answer
you'll shit bricks

Track Name: Morning. So frail.
I will never feel complete knowing someone else lives a life worse than my own. And no success story can tell me that I’ll save them. This was the tyranny of my thought, and it comes back to haunt me once again. The story of ghosts is true when you think of memories and the withered shadows of our past, the dead cells on the floor. I hear voices of power proclaim we only speak of anarchy, and pessimism, and nihilism, but it was never about that.
Track Name: Cynicism: Good or Bad?
You don't know at all, until you know.
Track Name: If All This Positive/Negative Energy Mumbo-Jumbo Is True, Then I Am Figuratively A Black Hole
i call you a minute late
i wake up a minute late
i have a dollar less than i need
i have one less paper than i need
i still get by
even though everyone tells me otherwise
they tell me that the time is running out
friendship on the line
my biggest fear
kept at bay for two years
independence doesnt matter to me
i want to be in someone elses arms forever
in someone else's arms forever
in someone else's arms forever

(...let me climb out of the trash... ...let's go

anywhere... ...throw things at me... ...yeah!)

Track Name: Sleep and Wakefulness
i see
that im uneasy most of the time
i sometimes dream
of a scary world unlike this one
where nothing can be reasoned
the laws change at every moment
im never doing anything right
im against all odds
always spending my time running away
i have no will to change the world
i just wish there was a button
i seek no glory
i just want all of us to move in parallel lines
never running into one another
with no one to rescue you
but no need to be rescued
if we could all fall asleep
and each of us would be sent to a planet
all for each one of us
it would not be much different
except our bodies would move perfectly
and hit every landmark in our ever-growing to do list

never hurting anyone, never scaring anyone
never dissapointing anyone, never subjugating anyone
Track Name: The Disorder Preservation Society
i had to take a break from you
to purge my emotions
because i was too embarrassed to do it in your face
Track Name: Janey's Theme
Track Name: Multiplex
oh yeah
oh yeah
oh yeah
no no
feels good
hey hey
speaking of which
oh oh
i haven't changed
but it feels good when i am on your arms
nestled tightly while you walk towards your path
now can you take me higher? ow!
if that's all you can do then that's fine
yeah that's fine.
take me to the place
show me where it is
i am lost and waiting to be found
am i close? (are we close?)
if that's all you can do then that's fine
but i can't
if that's all you can do then that's fine
but i can't
if that's all you can do then that's fine
but i can't
if that's all you can do then that's fine
but i can't
but i can't guarantee you anything...
Track Name: Untitled #2
clothes scattered all over the room
and one thriving (independent) mind finally found its way

I was 15
I finally had my own room.
And now I could laugh, cry, or scream with
no shame.

there was no other way out
i simply had no choice

and everytime [sic] i run my mouth
i'm trying my best to make
sense of it all
Track Name: Clark Garble
it's safe to say
i've broken though the walls
when i can be a sore
thumb on the city which i reside

my own Accord
It's hard to argue
that I don't live
a beautiful life

when in fact I see you completely different than anyone else

When you see me down, you have to tell me, as if I didn't know at all. Yeah. Tell me if that helped you along the way when you were a few years younger than you are right now.

(you suck the life out of me, get out)

We're not so different, think about that.
Track Name: Dielectic Burn
a rebel
to my own desires

although life is
full of routine

i feel a calling
burning into my soul

but i'd rather
preserve my
dying soul

(burn the...)

for fear of change

(...dielectic [sic])

for fear of change

i've been on this train before
nothing has changed

(everyday i am uneasy, unsure
but I always fall back to the routine.)

out of everything that exists

(It seems like the best choice.
Everything else poses disadvantages.
The more responsibility, the bigger need to conform)

absolutely nothing

i've been stationed in a middle ground, where i see right in everything

but that must change
if i am
to live this life
with no turning back
with no turning back
Track Name: Herb Gordon
why is it that my lessons learned come from subliminal anecdotes found within passersby menial talk?

there are times i believed i reached nirvana only to realize there were still days in the week and a different president every four years.

oh! will the method to this madness end, please? but then again, this is the point in the line of my thinking where i can't tell what i want

and i have forgotten what i dropped on the floor
and i dont remember what it's like to love
but i remember when you found me
through thick and thin, you fought until the rescue
but this circle will end
and it will be my own doing
because my only ability
is to cry into a void
a challenge has never faced me
my body will decelerate into insignificance *
Track Name: Introversion pt.2/Intoversion pt. 1
Introversion pt. 2

Is this rambling, is this bitter, is this the sound of death? Vicious circle where control is lost and helplessness is all you feel despite the ability to sit up, or get up, or walk. I need a friend to talk to. Vicious circle where control is lost and helplessness is all you feel despite the ability to sit up, or get up, to walk. See you later.

please deliver me
because I am too lazy to get up
I don't know if I have enough
for tip
but you'll get by right?

And it's not my fault
that I am a crutch
on the small truth
the will'll be cancelled out

Intoversion pt.1

As I slip awkwardly into this conversation, I think of how everyone seems to flow into their lesson and I follow with step-by-step accuracy, following so close and there is no remorse from us. This is one of the things that makes me want to start again, and new years' resolutions make more sense to me now. As if they didnt before. It's kind of true that we can ignore our bodies so long as we look forward, but when I surround myself with the wrong people, I'm forced to look down and back even. The shutting off of your door could very easily be from seeing that from your point of view, I am outweighed with responsibility that anyone attempting to lift it would be a waste of time.

There's a lot of time left
Track Name: Not Much Has Changed Since I Was 18 Years, 4 Months, And[sic] 13 Days Old
and much of the time im spending relating what i see to the image
Track Name: My Best Friend
is my Ibanez Artist 2618 from June 1976
Track Name: Ordinary Day
please let this be
an ordinary day
where my mind can

the small weight
of the presence that surrounds me
and is also me


Kindness wants to tell me
to defy conventions
set before me
by prejudice

but i easily
confuse kindness as i ask
why i cannot remain
idle and spread flat


Because as i drive
through a laytown i see
relics that people
fight to sustain

however ugly
the future did to them
because they did not
analyse memory

for it is sinful according to the bribed pastors and priests
for it is sinful according to the bribed pastors and priests
for the bribed pastor and priests
and the ministers too
and even the preachers
Track Name: 99 Cents
99 cents no big deal
but try saying that after a heart

attack (brain stroke)
trans fat and corn syrup (gmo's

and cruelty)the worst evils in

this whole wide world
fuck your electric car (acid

it's time we tear down the

coalmines. (all the lies)
oh, stop investing in false

stop and think how you can grow
you are the only cure to this

be yourself
dont let society tell you to hurt

Track Name: 1-32
i see
that im uneasy most of the time
i sometimes dream
of a scary world unlike this one

treading new ground
going 10 miles away
nothing learned
haven't tried enough

im thankful
but i
dont show it
haven't figured it out
Track Name: Hi (A new hope)
the light shines in slivers across the walls and im petrified
this moment so perfect, i could not get up for anything, and yet as i move i wouldnt trade this for anything, else

as the music plays in the car
i wonder how this plays along
from the outside
and i spend time looking at the
in betweens of buildings and
imagining myself in an alley
now im translating all the peaks
and valleys of [my] mind and hoping
that it's for the best because
it's all i want

falling in love
was so out of context
but i did it anyway
when the force of everything
is magnified
i feel so alive
walking side to side
across the room
till i get dizzy
im practically dancing
because im elated, im euphoric,and will never come down
Track Name: Cursing at Myself
and as this day winds down i find

something to do

and ive been sweating alot
but not breaking a sweat
at least i didnt spend any time of

the day, cursing at myself

it's like ive gone mad, there
is no more of the semblance i


there is business and business

Track Name: Responsibility
fractured by time
warned of tales of pseudoscience
and my mind suddenly seems too

is this for me

went out to eat at the same place
for two consecutive days
and im losing any sense of
difference between
what's different
i dont know
Track Name: Epitaph
wrote an elegy for a dead friend on my laptop, the next day the hard drive crashes. It's like our fate had been cursed from the start. Nothing had anything nice to say, at least those i trust the most. and i was supposed to play drums in your new band. i quivered and never accepted the invitation. now im left with a clean hard drive, and i can forget about memories that i recorded so disgustingly. as much as they mattered. i'm much too ashamed of myself, so let me fake a new start. I will look in the mirror in a month and still look the same. Let's hope i can prove myself wrong.