you say first encounters are all that count that in these moments it's do or die but i proved myself wrong on the second go i achieved closure we both did glorious closure knowing we would never see another again never felt this good i'm ready to take on the world and show everyone what i've got because you wished me you wished me a good day and i owe you one

i see you crying why is that? am i preprogrammed to expect the worse try to mend wrongs i just want to live why don't we find enjoyment we're so caught up in freedom we lose sight of the real goal

When you go by, Not too hard When you go by, Not too far

i'm starting to believe in the supernatural and that i could get what i want in the blink of an eye i'm just waiting for the time to come you're my motivation you're the motion inside me life is automatic, it's such a breeze when you've got it planned out and you see no flaws i just wish we all could see this way you're my companion you are there for the best moments

when i dream of a best friend all i think about is you and your poise as you look into my eyes you're looking through me and you don't mind because a friend see's all the good in someone you're that friend and you'll remain that friend forever because somewhere you remain when motivation is scarce just remember the responsibilites you took on and see that what lies before you is easy you're in the moment and you feel accomplished that's the right feeling and with joy you can show love in all directions in time and space is it strange to say i still love you is it strange to say i still love you

i heard a call from you when i saw your name i knew i was in for a great big giant game at first i was not sure if twas mine to win but you showed me that love wins over fearing these days we're living, they are truly halcyon days when we know no matter what we'll stay together in an elaborate dance composed of all our senses it's like the sweetest taste of a Starburst kiss

when i see your face i cry every time because it's not the same because it's not the same like back in middle school i'm ashamed to be myself they'll laugh and call me names i'm still insecure but i have a feeling that we are trying so i don't mind waiting for ourselves to stop fighting

it's been a long road but we haven't gone far yet all the while i have learned that positivity is the key to knowledge without it i would never understand when you watch news every day you don't see anything it's only within you'll find the universe is smaller than you think when you see that's the answer you'll shit bricks LOL WTF I SOUND LIKE A BOLIVIAN MORRISEY I LOVE THIS NEW PLUGIN VALHALLAROOM BUY IT NOW

I will never feel complete knowing someone else lives a life worse than my own. And no success story can tell me that I’ll save them. This was the tyranny of my thought, and it comes back to haunt me once again. The story of ghosts is true when you think of memories and the withered shadows of our past, the dead cells on the floor. I hear voices of power proclaim we only speak of anarchy, and pessimism, and nihilism, but it was never about that.

You don't know at all, until you know.

i call you a minute late i wake up a minute late i have a dollar less than i need i have one less paper than i need i still get by even though everyone tells me otherwise they tell me that the time is running out friendship on the line my biggest fear kept at bay for two years independence doesnt matter to me i want to be in someone elses arms forever in someone else's arms forever in someone else's arms forever (...let me climb out of the trash... ...let's go anywhere... ...throw things at me... ...yeah!) ooo

i see that im uneasy most of the time i sometimes dream of a scary world unlike this one where nothing can be reasoned the laws change at every moment im never doing anything right im against all odds always spending my time running away i have no will to change the world i just wish there was a button i seek no glory i just want all of us to move in parallel lines never running into one another with no one to rescue you but no need to be rescued if we could all fall asleep and each of us would be sent to a planet all for each one of us it would not be much different except our bodies would move perfectly and hit every landmark in our ever-growing to do list never hurting anyone, never scaring anyone never dissapointing anyone, never subjugating anyone

i had to take a break from you to purge my emotions because i was too embarrassed to do it in your face

:)

oh yeah oh yeah ah oh yeah no no feels good hey hey speaking of which oh oh i haven't changed but it feels good when i am on your arms nestled tightly while you walk towards your path now can you take me higher? ow! if that's all you can do then that's fine yeah that's fine. take me to the place show me where it is i am lost and waiting to be found am i close? (are we close?) if that's all you can do then that's fine but i can't if that's all you can do then that's fine but i can't if that's all you can do then that's fine but i can't if that's all you can do then that's fine but i can't but i can't guarantee you anything...

clothes scattered all over the room and one thriving (independent) mind finally found its way I was 15 I finally had my own room. And now I could laugh, cry, or scream with no shame. there was no other way out i simply had no choice and everytime [sic] i run my mouth i'm trying my best to make sense of it all

it's safe to say i've broken though the walls when i can be a sore thumb on the city which i reside my own Accord It's hard to argue that I don't live a beautiful life when in fact I see you completely different than anyone else When you see me down, you have to tell me, as if I didn't know at all. Yeah. Tell me if that helped you along the way when you were a few years younger than you are right now. (you suck the life out of me, get out) We're not so different, think about that.

a rebel to my own desires although life is full of routine i feel a calling burning into my soul but i'd rather preserve my dying soul (burn the...) for fear of change (...dielectic [sic]) for fear of change i've been on this train before nothing has changed (everyday i am uneasy, unsure but I always fall back to the routine.) out of everything that exists (It seems like the best choice. Everything else poses disadvantages. The more responsibility, the bigger need to conform) absolutely nothing i've been stationed in a middle ground, where i see right in everything but that must change if i am to live this life with no turning back with no turning back

why is it that my lessons learned come from subliminal anecdotes found within passersby menial talk? there are times i believed i reached nirvana only to realize there were still days in the week and a different president every four years. oh! will the method to this madness end, please? but then again, this is the point in the line of my thinking where i can't tell what i want and i have forgotten what i dropped on the floor and i dont remember what it's like to love but i remember when you found me through thick and thin, you fought until the rescue but this circle will end and it will be my own doing because my only ability is to cry into a void a challenge has never faced me my body will decelerate into insignificance *

Introversion pt. 2 Is this rambling, is this bitter, is this the sound of death? Vicious circle where control is lost and helplessness is all you feel despite the ability to sit up, or get up, or walk. I need a friend to talk to. Vicious circle where control is lost and helplessness is all you feel despite the ability to sit up, or get up, to walk. See you later. please deliver me because I am too lazy to get up I don't know if I have enough for tip but you'll get by right? And it's not my fault that I am a crutch on the small truth the will'll be cancelled out Intoversion pt.1 As I slip awkwardly into this conversation, I think of how everyone seems to flow into their lesson and I follow with step-by-step accuracy, following so close and there is no remorse from us. This is one of the things that makes me want to start again, and new years' resolutions make more sense to me now. As if they didnt before. It's kind of true that we can ignore our bodies so long as we look forward, but when I surround myself with the wrong people, I'm forced to look down and back even. The shutting off of your door could very easily be from seeing that from your point of view, I am outweighed with responsibility that anyone attempting to lift it would be a waste of time. There's a lot of time left

and much of the time im spending relating what i see to the image

is my Ibanez Artist 2618 from June 1976

please let this be an ordinary day where my mind can overtake the small weight of the presence that surrounds me and is also me __ Kindness wants to tell me to defy conventions set before me by prejudice but i easily confuse kindness as i ask why i cannot remain idle and spread flat __ Because as i drive through a laytown i see relics that people fight to sustain however ugly the future did to them because they did not analyse memory for it is sinful according to the bribed pastors and priests for it is sinful according to the bribed pastors and priests for the bribed pastor and priests and the ministers too and even the preachers

99 cents no big deal but try saying that after a heart attack (brain stroke) trans fat and corn syrup (gmo's and cruelty)the worst evils in this whole wide world fuck your electric car (acid reflux) it's time we tear down the coalmines. (all the lies) oh, stop investing in false solutions stop and think how you can grow you are the only cure to this epidemic be yourself dont let society tell you to hurt yourself

i see that im uneasy most of the time i sometimes dream of a scary world unlike this one treading new ground going 10 miles away nothing learned haven't tried enough im thankful but i dont show it haven't figured it out

the light shines in slivers across the walls and im petrified this moment so perfect, i could not get up for anything, and yet as i move i wouldnt trade this for anything, else as the music plays in the car i wonder how this plays along from the outside and i spend time looking at the in betweens of buildings and imagining myself in an alley now im translating all the peaks and valleys of [my] mind and hoping that it's for the best because it's all i want falling in love was so out of context but i did it anyway when the force of everything is magnified i feel so alive walking side to side across the room till i get dizzy im practically dancing because im elated, im euphoric,and will never come down

and as this day winds down i find something to do and ive been sweating alot but not breaking a sweat at least i didnt spend any time of the day, cursing at myself it's like ive gone mad, there is no more of the semblance i recount there is business and business remains

fractured by time warned of tales of pseudoscience and my mind suddenly seems too fragile is this for me went out to eat at the same place for two consecutive days and im losing any sense of difference between what's different i dont know

wrote an elegy for a dead friend on my laptop, the next day the hard drive crashes. It's like our fate had been cursed from the start. Nothing had anything nice to say, at least those i trust the most. and i was supposed to play drums in your new band. i quivered and never accepted the invitation. now im left with a clean hard drive, and i can forget about memories that i recorded so disgustingly. as much as they mattered. i'm much too ashamed of myself, so let me fake a new start. I will look in the mirror in a month and still look the same. Let's hope i can prove myself wrong.